[ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCT 19 2008; Revision added on OCT 25 2010, showing Tashvi's steps towards Thought # 1 when she's a little under 2 years old]
It's a sunny Sunday 11 am in late October. I am seeing sun rays piercing the blinds and meeting the bedroom furniture. I am listening to what are "girlie" Hindi songs from the album "Tum Yaad Aaye", while ironing my clothes. One of those songs is on auto-play at this moment - you can stop it by scrolling down this post.
Turns out I have finished my clothes, and so I walk into the closet and get some of my wife's clothes out to iron (CLARIFICATION: Girls/ladies, no need to think highly of me, I rarely iron my own clothes, let alone my wife's. It is just that recently I bought a new $65 steam iron, so am just excited to iron anything that doesn't move).
Now, thanks to her commendable taste in clothing, there are some very pretty tops I am ironing right now. The music and my wife's pretty dresses pretty much drift my mind towards a new future a fortnight from now, when my wife and I will be first time parents of a baby girl. No, I am not as excited as girls/ladies ask me if I am. Neither am I worried that my life will change forever as many men tell me it will. I am quietly confident and unassuming (about being a Dad). I guess I am as happy as the days leading up to my wedding. I didn't however feel the spike in excitement when my wife told me 7 months (or so) ago, that we were expecting. I guess once my wife and I decided we were going to have a baby, I pretty much saw things coming and had spread my excitement evenly over the months.
A few (somewhat outrageous) thoughts I'd like to note for the record. I know that 9/10 people will challenge me on these thoughts; so let me state it and review as the years roll:
Thought # 1: I won't object to her desire to climb a tree once she has convinced me she's all set; I won't help her convince her Mom though - I don't want to get into that marsh
[Update added on Oct 25 2010, a full two years after my original post; while it's not a real tree, I hope this shows her progress towards the same]
http://java.smugmug.com/Children/Tashvi-School-PlayArea-July/13153526_DThvs#954138754_966AE-A-LB
Thought # 2: I won't object to her desire to marry *anyone* once she tells me she is confident it's the right thing; In that *anyone*, I include Americans, Hispanics, Arabs, Chinese, Indians.. even girls! It really is anyone. I would object to her wanting to live alone.
Thought # 3: By the time she turns 4, I will give her a monthly budget to manage all her food, toy and clothing expenses. (Yes, I did say 4 years) [Disclaimer: Yet to attempt getting my wife on board on this]
Thought # 4: After she turns 3, I will object to her not cleaning up after herself after her meal or after play. [Disclaimer: Yet to attempt getting my wife on board on this]
Thought # 5: I wouldn't care if all my friends' children are doing better than Tashvi at school. [Disclaimer: I am counting on the fact that I can also teach her to smile and turn a deaf ear to all the "desi aunts" who are going to make that comparison]
That's it for today.. I expect this series of posts to continue alongside the other posts. I am told I won't have time for this blog, nor for any of my interests once Tashvi arrives 2-3 weeks from now. I disagree - I think I'll make some time. Let's see..
4 comments:
Hmm... very noble and wise thoughts. Sceptical about #3 and 4 though. We'll see soon :-)
I was speaking to another friend some weeks ago, and she too was skeptical, esp of # 3.
I guess one has to remember that "monthly budgets" don't just mean I'll hand her a $100 check for her to ruminate. It is about me or my wife keeping track of Tashvi's expenses and giving asking her to choose between 2 or more goods when her budget is close to over.
i'm actually sceptical about #1. god, that's scary; why climb a tree at all :) nah, just joking. no problems there so long as they wear proper equipment, are safely harnessed and have a safety net below them :)
not sure about #2 i.e. not sure of my views on the matter; actually, i'm not too worried about even her being alone; jsut worried about her taking the wrong decision but knowing that i will not know the right decision either, so will just have to trust their instincts. its one of those things...dilli ka laddu types.
#3 is a matter of parental discipline. can be done. i've never done it though i'm sure we would have met the required budget anyways; you don't get much chance to be carried away with buying things in maldives :)
#4 yeah...all depends on how willing the child is....personal experience for me is one is willing and with the second one, it is going to be all out war for #4 to happen. its one of the good thoughts though.
#5 fully agree with you there javs. get her to laugh and enjoy life. look at us; surely we couldn't have been worse off by studying a bit less than we did (ooops....assuming here that we actually did study a lot!). either ways, fully agree with you.
Thank you .. ahem ahem.. "Shrikant". Always feels good to gather feedback. As for the tree, it is probably more symbolic than anything else. Could be gymnastics or other general contact sport where the chances of injury is high. Doesn't matter to me..
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